ill be back.

thankyou to everyone who cares :)

(pray for her)

-

Ho hum.

Empty room, empty mind.

I only talk in clichéd sentences now it seems.

Goodbye.

beginnings

The sky turned a shade greyer as we drove by, watching the black sea illuminated by flood lights that dotted the night sky so very geometrically. Inky blue met with white light, a perfect union, a mingling together that brought bursts of star dust and sparkles. Children, such children we were. One of us in anticipation, one of us in depression, and one of us suffering from acute starvation. We got out, huddled together for warmth and shared one shawl because those two were too cool to embrace the fact that they needed sweaters. He went off to buy his bigmac, he fidgeted with his watch, and she looked into the pale blue of the sea for answers. Amidst his loud and obnoxious chomping accompanied with semi-horny grunts of a satiated appetite was idle chatter and mindless sentences. They spoke because they had to, not because they felt like. It had never been like that before; there had been a need for filling up awkward silences, primarily because they never had any. But today, things changed, and all three of them were more introspective, partially more intoned with what was happening to them, a sweet sort of narcissism. Finally he was done, cigarettes were stomped on, frozen behinds were dragged of damp benches and the walked to the car.

So this is what growing up feels like.

so wont you stay american baby?

Its supposed to be happy days followed by intoxicated nights and bliss filled tomorrows. Its meant to be carefree and careless.
Tomorrows supposed to be whiles away and years apart from here.

From the now.

From the clear.

Fuck.

ends

And so, another chapter in my life ends. Another story, another conclusion, another full stop. One more tale to tell, one more memory to remember, one more embarrassing moment never to be recounted.

It’s a year of ends, and one of scary beginnings.

She left last night, left on a jet plane. Good luck at Cambridge love, make me proud.

I have a university interview on Sunday, im scared.

Those were the last set of school exams ill ever give, the last time ill write my name on the smudgy grey Kgs paper, I always wrote my name in huge block letters, for some reason I thought it symbolized knowing something.

That was the last time ill cheat Economics mcq’s from A. And that’s the last time ill nearly get caught. It’s the last time ill scribble on my paper with glee, and stare around when im done early.

That was the last time we’ll celebrate at the beach. With Z’s portable cd player that we used to kick in order to start, and A’s freakishly addictive dip. We won’t  lie down in front of the sea and laugh for hours on end. We won’t dance in the sea and then end up falling and drenching ourselves. We wont drive back listening to Coldplay and singing along to Mr Brightside.

‘Man, im going to miss you guys when I go to college. Who’s going to sing with me?’


Im packing up my stuff, moving is terrifying. Ive lived here all my life, slept in the same bed, messed up the same bathroom. And now, I leave my designated comfort zone, the place where I celebrated my first birthday in my ugly blue frilly dress to enter unknown territory. I came across a whole carton of Archie comics today, and threw them all away. There was a time when I was banned from reading them, my mother told me I would start writing like betty and veronica, reading good literature teaches you how to write.

I would still read them, just behind close doors. I kept one for memories sake.

The rest of my college applications leave soon, im leaving this country next year.

Im leaving my house next week.

He left two days ago.


The brain of the disco has turned into porridge.

The sky is orange and pink, with little specks of gold, glimmering, winking and eventually shying away.  

annie are you ok, are you ok annie?

Michael Jackson has officially joined the nation of Islam.

He’s even come up with a song about us-

Take hold of your Imam
Don’t give into Shetan

From- Give thanks to Allah

What’s sad is that it’s actually quite catchy.

I hope the mullah’s dance to Smooth Criminal to celebrate.

i say you dont know

I can’t stand how people can be so incredibly sensitive. Its scary. I mean, humanity doesn’t hate you, we aren’t here to see you fail, and no, not everything is about you.

Look outside your personal circumference, dare to understand there is more to this than what you think, and for fucks sake stop whining.

Grow up.

dancing in the moonlight.

Ok, I should so be taking some time off from blogging, I have so much to do, and hardly anytime to do it in. The schedule-

Friday – General (joke.)

Saturday- Sat (mind fuck for 4 hours)

Sunday- Nothing :D

Monday- History ( have not begun yet)

Tuesday- Sociology

Wednesday- Econ and Literature ( I hate Austen.)

Ok, breathe. Breathe.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

IM SO FUCKED.