nooooooo :(

Dont cry for me Argentina :''''''(


Damn those Natzi Bastards.

Im such a bad looser, tis pathetic. Blah, horrible depression.

And to think, I even wore light blue and everything ahahah.

Rooting for Portugal now. As long as Brazil and Germany dont win I will be content.

NAHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN.
 

:):):):)

sometimes, all you need and all you want is found in someone who wont tell you what to do and how to do it. all they do is listen.

and then they'll go and eat the remnants of a dead pigeon.

i heart my doggy.

Road trippin with my two favorite allies
Fully loaded we got snacks and supplies
Its time to leave this town
Its time to steal away
Lets go get lost
Anywhere in the u.s.a.
Lets go get lost
Lets go get lost

Never expect anything, because random bouts of happiness can just be so rewarding sometimes. Keep your mouth shut, keep the gaze low, look out the window instead of looking straight at the object of your affection. Let the scene play itself out without your interruption, let the song finish, let the moment pass fully before you start ruining it with your prose or your analysis. Enjoy it, without care or concern, no second thoughts, no second guessing. Jump, flitter, fly- do everything, conquer it all with a grin and a knowing smile. Sometimes it feels like you take all of me, but then I realize that ive taken all of you so long ago that its only fair. We take each other for granted, we expect too much, we are two incredibly sensitive emotionally charged lunatics when together.

But who cares, it can just be so bloody worth it sometimes.

cranberry juice.

‘What took you so long?’

‘Parents giving me shit again for never being home, which is ironic seeing that I haven’t left since last Saturday.’

‘Their getting senile I think.’

‘Haan, it’s the only explanation that makes sense.’


I'm trying to control myself
So please don't stand in my way
I've waited for the longest time
This is what I wanted in my way

‘You just wont understand.’

‘Explain it to me’

‘See, motor-lota. Its like a pun on motorrolla. It’s a mechanized hand held cleaning apparatus. Great for Pakistani’s going to college abroad.’

‘This is your big invention?’

‘Yup, toilet roll just doesn’t give you that clean fresh feeling man.’

Move over, move over
There's a climax coming in my way
Move over, move over
There's a climax coming in my way

‘Im telling you, that crow has a thing for you.’

‘Yeah, shitting on peoples heads. Great way to show some affection.’

‘Some people are in to that kind of stuff acha, don’t be judging things you cant understand.’

I don't like you, don't compromise
Shattered by your weakness
Shattered by your smile
And I'm not very fond of you, and your lies
Shattered by your weaknesses
Shattered by your smile

‘You try to put that ghamla on my head ONE MORE TIME and I swear to god I am going to use this fucking lighter to light your hairy ass on fire I PROMISE YOU.’

All the kids are going back to school
The summer's over it's the golden rule
And now I'm coming out to play
So please don't stand in my way
And all the things that seemed once to be
So important to me
Seem so trivial now that I can see

‘Dude, this is the truth. We need to get this over with because I couldn’t be fucked and you couldn’t be fucked, neither could the rest of the group. Basically, no one could be fucked. Know what that means?’

‘Yep. We be dying virgins.’

Move over, move over

‘What do you mean she has too many things on her plate right now? I'm not some bloody BUFFET DINNER MAN.’

There's a climax coming my way

‘motor-LOTA. Its like a normal LOTA but motorized.

When I make my millions and you come begging me for money than im going to remind you of your lack of faith in me.’

I don't like you, don't compromise
Shattered by your weakness
Shattered by your smile
And I'm not very fond of you, and your lies
Shattered by your weaknesses
Shattered by your smile

‘.. and like my caption can be. Hello Loto. Like Hello Moto.’

‘isnt it lotA? Loto doesn’t even MEAN anything.’

‘LACK OF FAITH LACK OF FAITH.’

Please don't stand in my way

:)

-

tracking treasure down.

tomorrow will be weird.

i can feel it from today.

*crosses fingers*

eek.

please dont let this be my downfall. oh please please please. it cant happen this way.

still got a smile on my face, its my saving grace.

All of the moments that already passed
We'll try to go back and make them last
All of the things we want each other to be
We never will be
And that's wonderful, and that's life
And that's you, baby
This is me, baby.

Stop. Look around.

Smile.

3-14 in the morning, and life is fucking fantastic for no real reason.

Ah i love happy me. So random yet so brilliant.

ZINDAGIIIIII IS GOOOOODDDD :D:D

I shall leave complaining till another day.

Yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yipp.

(I hate babies.)

(I want to write a describe-y type post right now, and the words are dying to come out. But screw it.)

White skirts caught on shiny metal hooks, plastic green pressing lightly on sun tan bronze, silence echoing through thoughts clouded over by joy.

Enough now.

Goodbye.

with ease

Halo.

Greetings.

Oi, we need to meet up tomorrow.

Then meet up we will.

What time do you wake up?

Around 11.

Arey wah. Ok then ill come straight from the doctors.

Sounds good.

And you need to take me for an eye check up

And to buy new glasses.

Alrighty.

Oh, and also you need to choose my college courses for me.

Yeah so get that big folder thing of yours we’ll figure it out.

Oh and more thing.

Haan?

Its good to have you the backs man.

Oh shutup lesbo queen.

Young and sweet only seventeeeeeeeeeeeeeen. :D

Will you come for lunch?

No no ive given up on food.

Ok we’ll breathe together then.

Chew on air baby

Freak

Lunatic

Acha i'm going now. So many men so little time.

*snort*

You don’t ever tell me the fuck ok. I have many boys.

Your brother doesn’t count love.

Shutup. Ok yes so i'm off to watch the match.

Till tomorrow then?

Tomorrow it is.

Khuadafiz Kulsoom (not her name)

Shabakhair Sherbano (not mine either)

How I adore best friends:)

Some-day
When im awfully low
And the world is cold
I will feel a glow
Just thinking offfff

You.

And the way you look

Tonight:)

I love how I make you laugh and you make me feel funny.
Perspective is an odd thing, its weird when you realize just how much energy youve been spending on people that are almost so imaginery that when you reach out to touch them it feels like your fingers are touching whirls of rippling smoke and nothing else.

Lesson of the day- Prioritize. Stop wasting time with people who arnt worth it. Stop forcing your heart to attach itself with idiots that really couldnt care less about you.

Im tired of your moodswings.

Its just too bloody volatile.

-

I

CANNOT
TOLERATE
THIS
FUCKING

HEAT.


(great tan though but that’s besides the point.)

.. all around.

this post was written about two hours after the last one.

Insomniacs united on msn to realize that all of them were bored to death and were contemplating suicide. He was all out of hash, she was all out of fresh ideas and the third was simply dying of starvation. And we sat, each one of us moping about our houses at 5 something in the morning.

Wait hold on.

Its sunrise
You have a car
I have money
We have the time

Halwa Puuree?

Heh, why the fuck not.

Sweaty cheeks, oily hands, wet chairs. A beach, a white car that refused to start- all culminating in a hunt and future celebration. A hasty combination of a shalwar and t-shirt, a pink nightsuit, a pair of shorts and an undershirt. Loud music, the windows down, the sun far far awar. Cloudy mornings, windy beginnings and heat ignored through sunglasses. Theres always a first time for everything, but this wasnt that time. We got our shit, we wondered at Karachis sheer beauty, we got into a mindless arguement about Phase 4 and wether it was worth the drive. We laughed, we scolded, we realized we should do this more often.

7-55 in the godforsaken morning. God knows when im going to wake up.

7-55 in the godforsaken morning. God knows when ive felt more content.

poster girl with no poster

Excuse me please, one more drink
Could you make it strong, coz I don’t need to think
She
Broke my heart
My grace is gone
Another drink and ill move on.

He sings it like he means it, and with music that’s all that really matters. Your words could claim pain, but does your voice quiver with every syllable murmured?

Are you alive or in a blissful auto-pilot mode?

I want to write, I want to spit it out on words with ease. That’s the word. Ease. It should come out naturally, with fluidity and calm that is unparalleled. But it doesn’t. Ive had the hiccups for two days now, nothing works. They laugh and say people are missing me or perhaps I miss myself.

Ive changed. I don’t know why now or for what reason.

I'm not same person I was two weeks ago.

Here I go again, over analyzing everything beyond belief. I want a simple life, and ive got it, and yet in that simplicity im tearing up white cloth to scrutinize loose threads and questioning the reddest of the red chrysanthemum that lies loosely on my keyboard.

How in gods name, do you shut all the voices in your head, and just live?

Without care and concern and second guessing?

Ease? Anyone?

My mind is melting.

backward

Step back. One two- three steps. Eyes blurry? Focus. Whip the hair out of your eyes, breathe in.

Can you hear them? Can you hear them scream? Can you hear them cry and complain and be so ruthlessly unhappy that it almost seems vain? Locked up in rooms, tantrums in the kitchen, closed inside, but their madness visible to all. See the transparency? Its so clear if you just look properly. Can you see the tear drop that didn’t fall due to a final effort at self restraint, did you hear the heart beat when they dispersed? Did you see the blood pump through their veins when it was so obvious that they were hurt but too indifferent to say it loud?

No?

Four, five six- seven?

Clearer?

Its hard for us beginners, because we cant think without emotion- so very objectively. Try, do you see the insignificance in all of it? The pettiness, so small they look when put all together. And each one, with their own woes, their own problems, their own ideas of what defines happiness and melancholy. So silly, hah, so silly they all look. Little stupid people who know that no matter what they do they will come alone and go alone, but still, they try so hard to intertwine. So hard that its almost pitiful they just go charging like bulls, almost always falling and hurting themselves in the process. Just to complete that search, that hope, that sliver of possibility that two of them placed together could conquer all, solve all their little little issues with togetherness.

You must be joking.

Throw it all in a box, put on your reading glasses, peer down.

Is this your life?

Can you, for a moment, clamber and crawl till you’ve cut your fingers and somehow get out for a moment and look inward?

Quite a shock to see how inconsequential it all is.

It doesn’t matter, we don’t matter.

Spell it out.

N-o-t-h-i-n-g makes a fucking difference.

grr

*pat pat*

im going to be fine.

*looks around for Xena warrior princess type personality that she can borrow for a while to be her own*

time for some ass kicking.

undefined = infinity.

Madhosh hoon
Gum hoon Kahee.
Aao Yahaan,
Yunhi Kabhee.

Bichar Kai Bhee
Call

I have no words left, so i guess ill just steal someone elses.

what the hell is going on?

:)

You know it was a good party when you cant rememeber how many people you danced with, how many shots you downed, how many completely absurd conversations you had and how in gods name you managed to lock up the house and shut all the lights.

One broken shoe, two broken hearts, three million moments of sheer joy:)

I tell you, if people just danced more often we might have a shot at world peace.

The picture looks like an add for the damn shoe company, but i still cant believe i managed to walk in those things, thus they are worthy of a little lift heh.

And, as a LOVELY afterthought, I am greatly thankful to whoevers up there for not making my parents realize that I got home at four am (thus my curfew was broken by faaaaaar.) And also, thankyou to KILLER MR DRIVER MAN for not telling the parents that i smoke/was sloshed and also for staying so late. This goes for Mr Guard man who SO knew what was going on seeing that I was rendered incapable of opening the front door and needed F to actually do it for me.

Yes so YAY for those two and YAY for stupid parents, you guys are champ.

:D

rain drop blue.

..and sometimes I feel like im so completely in love with you that it physically hurts. And in those few moments, when I allow myself to be a fool and an immature little girl I play with ideas and thoughts and juggle around conversations and smiles. And in that moment, I feel so completely whole and taken care off and needed, like ill always be ok as long as your around. And understood, not fully, but enough for it to be worth recognizing.

..and then rationality and common sense comes back and ruins everything.

..and so you shake your head, smile your wry smile and plunge back into what you’ve begun to recognize as your life.

..and you already feel like you’ve lost something you never really had to begin with.


(this is what reading Kartography at 4-50 in the morning does to you.)

amsterdam

I don’t know where this post is going to. I know and am fully aware of my happy happy mental state right now, but with the smoke comes temporary happiness that is empty at best. But hey, somethings always better than nothing right?

Theres an empty bowl of cereal sitting next to me, diet thank heavens is going blissfully. However the exercise part is well- non existent. Even though I promise myself everyday, my ass is just not willing to get itself in motion. I'm figuring let me atleast start loosing weight then ill get happy then perhaps spiral type scene and I start working out even?

Am I rambling?

Indeed I am.

The best friend told me today that im getting really edgy and restless. Now this scares me, because the best friend and me have a great understanding about only sitting down and having ‘the talk’ with each other if its really bad. Thus, we never fight or get serious, and it works out great because we have easy tension free best friend-ship. So now, when we are randomly sitting there and im half asleep she mentions this startling piece of information and im like wait nigga it must be bad otherwise she wouldn’t bother.

SO, moral of les story is that I need to find something to do. We discussed everything from interships to prostitution, and I had a problem with every bloody option. For example, interships require me waking up at 9 in the morning, and lets just say that well *blush* I wake up later than that. And well prostitution? Yeah im guessing the issue with that ones kind off obvious.

Khair, so anyway the disco has been deemed officially useless. And I agree, like today I woke up at around one, sat around for fifteen minutes, messaged E saying-

‘Dude, I woke up at one but theres nothing to do so im going back to sleep. Is that normal?’

And then I slept for a couple more hours till I was actually so completely awake that I was making imaginary circles with my toes under my blanket.

Moral of the story- I need something to bloody well do.

Do not tell me to go the gym. I will murder you- slowly and painfully.


But when I close my eyes I can only see miles of headlights, flashing out the distance.

lies.

I don’t need you.
I don’t need you.
I don’t need you.
I don’t need you.
I don’t need you.
I don’t need you.
I don’t need you.
I don’t need you.
I don’t need you.
I don’t need you.
I don’t need you.
I don’t need you.

heh.

And you smile through all your days….


…and laugh through all your nights.

:)

retch

Come on now, sugar,
Bring it on, bring it on, yeah.
Just remember me when you're good to go
Come on now, honey,
Bring it on, bring it on, yeah.
Just remember me when.

Ok, im officially feeling physically sick.

This is what to you do to me.

:)

‘Sing it loud and clear.

I’ll always be waiting for you.

Yeah, I’ll always be waiting for you.’


Fuck the adjectives and the long drawn out sentences. Screw the verbs and the actions and the emphasis. Forget it all, throw it all away somewhere so that you can never get them back. Sometimes, sometimes you don’t need paragraphs and long pages of description. Sometimes, its just so clear that it almost gives you a headache.

I love my fucking friends.

Enough said.

and just when it starts becoming real....

.... it just becomes really lame.

in search of-

newness.