backward

Step back. One two- three steps. Eyes blurry? Focus. Whip the hair out of your eyes, breathe in.

Can you hear them? Can you hear them scream? Can you hear them cry and complain and be so ruthlessly unhappy that it almost seems vain? Locked up in rooms, tantrums in the kitchen, closed inside, but their madness visible to all. See the transparency? Its so clear if you just look properly. Can you see the tear drop that didn’t fall due to a final effort at self restraint, did you hear the heart beat when they dispersed? Did you see the blood pump through their veins when it was so obvious that they were hurt but too indifferent to say it loud?

No?

Four, five six- seven?

Clearer?

Its hard for us beginners, because we cant think without emotion- so very objectively. Try, do you see the insignificance in all of it? The pettiness, so small they look when put all together. And each one, with their own woes, their own problems, their own ideas of what defines happiness and melancholy. So silly, hah, so silly they all look. Little stupid people who know that no matter what they do they will come alone and go alone, but still, they try so hard to intertwine. So hard that its almost pitiful they just go charging like bulls, almost always falling and hurting themselves in the process. Just to complete that search, that hope, that sliver of possibility that two of them placed together could conquer all, solve all their little little issues with togetherness.

You must be joking.

Throw it all in a box, put on your reading glasses, peer down.

Is this your life?

Can you, for a moment, clamber and crawl till you’ve cut your fingers and somehow get out for a moment and look inward?

Quite a shock to see how inconsequential it all is.

It doesn’t matter, we don’t matter.

Spell it out.

N-o-t-h-i-n-g makes a fucking difference.