There are good days followed inevitably by bad days.

There are days that you want to go home, there are days in which you cant imagine life anywhere else.

There are days when you feel like you just wont fit in and there are days when you try to juggle all the people who want to spend time with you.

There are overwhelmed days that get balanced out with days when you feel like your floating instead of walking.

Things make sense somedays, other days it feels like stuff will never settle down.



And then, there are days when you just look out your window and realize that how beautiful everything is, and irrespective of good or bad, this is home.

And it doesnt hurt that its fucking beautiful.

its ok if you dont find this funny.

Walking. Lost. Painfully miserably sadly lost. Me. You. The other guy. What was his name again?

Left right. Left right. Oh for christs sake, WHERE THE FUCK DID OUR COLLEGE GO?

Phone rings.

Fumble. Trip. Put hand in bag and aimlessly reach around for vibrating cellular device. Hand feels a small square object. Flip open.

'Uhhh Hellooo?'

'Where the FUCK are you guys?'

'We went off to find food and we got kind of.. lost.'

'YOUR WANDERING THE STREETS AT THREE IN THE MORNING?'

'Uhh Yes.'

'ARE YOU CRAZY?'

'Uhhhhh'

'Okay fuck it. Tell me where you are ill tell you how to get back.'

'We're on Grand I think.'

'Grand and what?'

(walks to the corner to see)

'Corner of Grand anddd..'

'Grand and?'

'Grand and..'

'CORNER OF GRAND AND WHAT'

'GRAND AND DRUNK. IM ON THE CORNER OF GRAND AND DRUNK.'

Then we laugh for a good hour before regaining composure and realizing we were infact just two streets away from the fucking dorm.

Ah, college.

Tired. Tired being the operative word. A long day that was just getting longer. The day having leaked into in to the night without me realizing, one stop after the other, one person met after the other. Waking up to being forced to going to brunch, running into random people and becoming friends at the grate, going to the mall with the girls, returning to group study Sociology and a much needed shower filled with some desperately searched for alone time. Throwing on a sweater pinning back my hair, putting on the prettiest of prettiest gold earings I had bought earlier and making two calls before deciding what to do for the rest of the night.

My basic problem? Thinking and over thinking and re-thinking till it’s the death of me. All I do all the time is analyze and investigate and assume. Is it the way I want to be? No. It is the way I am? Yes.

At 12-45 in the morning, I crossed the street on the way to the campus center. Halfway across the street I noticed a random spring in my step and half smiled. At that moment, the sky was illuminated and random lightning appeared from where. I cursed myself for not bringing a jacket and quickened my step to get to where everyone was waiting.

At 12-46, I stopped thinking, I decided to stop being so hard on myself.

And here I am, content.

Who would’ve thought.

And so, we find our way.

thankyou for keeping me sane.

ill never tell you, but you mean the world to me.

soaking it up

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Right, so its freaking tuesday morning, 11-02 being the exact time.

I have class tomorrow at 9 in the morning, I have laundry to do and I must clean my room before my roommate throws me out. I need to change the bedsheets, shower, call my parents and fill out fifty million forms. I have to attend some asain thing at the cultural house, show up for a study session and manage to not throw up at the cafteria food.

AND LETS NOT EVEN START ABOUT THE WORK LOAD.

2 Chapters for Socio.
150 pages for Art.
60 pages of Random bull for Asian Studies.
Half of the FUCKING ILIAD for Greek Myth.

AND I ALSO HAVE TO WATCH THE LION KING AND DECONSTRUCT IT FOR CLASS TOMORROW.

I MEAN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU FUCKING MESSING WITH DISNEY.

Hakuna freakin Matata.

Problem free philosophy my ass.

Oh, and im also out of cigarettes. 4 dollars a pack. Haw.

To the library I go, coffee in hand, a million thoughts in my head, more than half of them about you.

Sorry about the small text of this post and the others, my laptop (oh my sexy sexy macbook) doesnt give you the option of making the font bigger. Oh well, guess i can fix it at the library.

I CANNOT EAT AT THE CAFE AGAIN.

I have enough money to either by myself sushi or cigarettes.

Smokes win every time.

(Rap is not music god dammit.)