Lead me not to temptation

I can get there myself.

The last entry was about events, this entry is about the truth. Once again, its just words that fell out of my head- in other words highly odd and often contradictry.

I thought that we had said the final goodbyes, and that I could start to rebuild the walls of protection that you so recklessly knocked over when I began to trust you. But it seems, that it will never go away, we will never really bid each other adieu. Maybe, because I was at my happiest when i was with you, and in a world in which happiness comes in the form of a memory rather than the present, you tend to come back time and time again. But its too late, mistakes were made, some things are just irreversible. Dont ask about me, or try to call, because a part of me might just pick up. And when pigeons flutter out of little brass cages don’t tell me that things couldn’t have gone our way. Just because elements present themselves in other boxes and packages, in other faces of the same little beggar who asked for the same dirty note the first day you drove by him doesnt mean that they mean any different. People swing around poles of dreams one hand clung firm in order to maintain their balance and the other groping into nothingness to find something we can escape to, something we can deviate to and feel the extreme joy of rebellion. We aren’t walking over cotton wool clouds, people slip through and often fall order into a sea of emerald stones that you discarded when the clasp broke. So clumsy of you to let us fall so fast.


Please, just please lift your hand so that the torch doesn’t go out and we don’t turn to dust so terribly quickly. Your palm will burn, and for once, my breath wont be there to calm it down. Please let us visit those old run down castles with crumbling towers that once held mystery and promise but are now just left to decay once the pleasure has been injected out of them. Let calls of prayer be muted by the song you sang to me, the same one that gets stuck in your throat, while it watches all the lies float by. Waves of silence can no longer just lay still in the air like words the hung in the hushed drapery of antique thoughts and misguided fantasy. Trample all over the eyelashes that were once blown on to preserve us, or to take your fingerprints away from the copper bars the bind keys that locked away our destiny.