365

And the other day
You just look around
And all you see is gone
All you see is gone

A year ago, I was studying for a sociology mock when the girl with the slanty eyes and the boy with the emerald ones walked into my room. Sweaty, huffing and out of breath, they don’t stop to laugh at what I had on- I wear weird things when studying- but instead tell me a very dear yet stupid friend had once again tried to act like Mr Don and had gotten himself involved in a fight. It had actually gotten so bad that he was rushed to the hospital by some neighbor. No one was picking up his cell, his parents didn’t know, the guy lay unconscious in some random bed in some random hospital surrounded by no one who saw him as more than just a patient.

I freak out, put on a pair of jeans, tell my parents I have to do last minute photocopying and run like the wind. We get in the car, and begin picking people up. One by one, the same story re-told, the same cursing under their breath, the same feeling of shock and anger. Half empty stories, damp eyes turning away from faces, quiet moments accompanied only by the low volume of the radio- everyone was too lost to bother with music.

Some of us took out our fears in anger promising revenge for whoever did this in our own quirky teenage way but I just remember staring out of the window blankly while F was crying silently in the back. Piled on top of each other, we were a weird mix of emotions, ranging from rage to shock- everyone showing signs of fear when we didn’t know any better. F’s phone rang, we got the name of the hospital and spoke to the guy who had taken him there. Finally, we had some clue, some sort of direction.

I remember the moment when we reached the hospital perfectly. I jumped out the car and ran towards the entrance, only to have my jeans get stuck in some fucking bush. I tugged and tugged till I realized I had gotten latched onto some hook and turned back for help. In that moment, I saw everyone get out of the car, people fixing their clothes, G turning off the headlights.

Wait, why was G smiling?

We hear laughter, the boot opens, and out comes E completely bruise free. Nothing had happened, it was april fools, and we had just gotten conned beyond belief. One look at him and I ended up ripping my jeans just so that I could go and beat him up for pulling such a stunt- not knowing whether to laugh in relief or scream at him for giving us all such a heart attack.

A year ago, we laughed like fools outside a hospital. A year ago we went into the pharmacy bought food and sat on the pavement and just laughed- without care or consequence. A year ago, it was pure and childish.

Now, its all just hazes of smoke and perpetually having to double check yourself.

When did it all get so complicated?