painting the silence.

We’re going to be alright.

That’s how you ended it. Funny how I can be so incredibly bitter about something that I began in the first place. This was my decision, my choice, my foggy brain choosing paths that I might not have the heart to tread on.

My decision sucks, o I completely agree with you.

I don’t want to type more; I don’t want you to get the satisfaction of being in my words. Of knowing that I regret everything I said, but I know that for the sake of my own sanity I need to see bye.

I want to say something oddly poetic and beautiful and heart wrenching. But I cant, everything in my head just sounds so incredibly lame right now. I could go off on some melancholic obscure rant about burnt orange candles and white noises behind empty screens. But you’ve taken the magic away; you’ve taken the cheesy grin that made my eyes turn into tiny slits. In most pictures, I look like my eyes are shut, in truth it’s just because I can’t smile and keep my eyes open at the same time.

Ive shut the tv off, logged off msn and shut my phone. Everytime I open up some sort of form of fucking communication something happens and I immediately want to tell you, knowing that you’re the only one who will understand or the only one who will get the joke. Shits fucked up right now, and I need someone to listen, but I guess its back to the disco and her closed congealed fucking existence.

So this what heartache feels like.

I hate you for doing this to me.

And I hate you for not feeling the same amount of mind fuck.

My horoscope for the day-

Go solo as much as possible to minimize the frustrations in your life. While a certain amount of it's unavoidable, you need to increase your sense of equilibrium in order to concentrate on your priorities.

Great, I am going solo, where’s the bloody sense of equilibrium?