states of trance.

Wake.

11-13 in the morning.

Slow baby steps. Must not move head too much. Stay away from light, light is bad, light is very bad. Reach for your staple mug of water and chug down. Half lying down half sitting up, you dare to open your eyes. The left first, then the right. Wait for it. Wait for it.

Hungover?

Nope, still drunk.

The last three days have been crazy. I'm pretty sure everyone has figured out what ive been up to. So why bother huh? Why bother with the stoned recollections and drunken conversations. Why tell you that you feel so incredibly smart and have such beautiful moments and the world, the world just looks so symmetrical you know? And you think thoughts that you wouldn’t otherwise, and feel new rushes and joys over things that lost their magic so long ago.

Heh, why bother.

Life is random these days, and I guess this post is not much more than an update. My exams are over, they were actually pretty damn decent, I might actually manage to maintain my A’s and not fail miserably as I had imagined. That day was horrible though, six hours of exams and a body so completely exhausted. I just went home and slept that day, forget the partying and the celebration, I just needed to bloody well sleep.

But since then, its been all about the butterflies and pots of gold in the life of me. J and I have discovered this dodgy website online where you get trance sets an hour after they are played live- and for anyone into trance this is HUGE- and its FREE and with my DSL and his knowledge on the music we make the best couple. All we do is sit download and enjoy. The sheer quality of music in my ears these days is crazy.

My brother is going through puberty, it is truly HILARIOUS. My parents have no idea what is going on, all he does is stay in his room, can’t stand to be disturbed, sleeps till four in the afternoon as is awake till the sun rises. Best thing is, that the only person he bothers to talk to is me because after all ive been there six years ago and know exactly how to handle a pubescent teen. Being twelve kind of sucked if I remember correctly, though he has no acne, but his voice still hasn’t cracked. The fact that I’m going to miss him growing up is horrible, but I must say being the old cooler sister never gets old. May he continue asking me for advice and telling me his secrets and asking me what curse words mean :D.

Yesterday, the two of us were ditched by all our other friends because they had to go for tuitions and well- our exams are over. So, we said fuck them and decided to have our fun. Now, we don’t know each other very well, but who cares when your stoned you love everyone. We bought birthday cards for his mother, ate jalebis and pakoras, and drove around sea view at dusk. Dusk, dusk is the prettiest time of the day. Always. Not because of its colour, because there isn’t much, just grey and orange, but because of its nudity. The sky is charcoal grey, the ground is dew drop yellow and there is nothing but numbness in between.

Don’t understand what im saying? Yeah, you had to be there.

It was truly up there in the top ten best days of my life.

Ok maybe twenty.

Khair, now I must go, because I need to bathe, then I can eat or watch tv or go out or heaven forbid I could clean my room. Point im trying to make here is that I finally have all the choices in the world.

And the decision? The decision is all mine to make :D