The 5 pillars.

The gay indian on BBC food needs to shut the hell up.

Seriously.
Now.

The pope died yesterday. How sad is that?
Whats worse is that i got teary, and probably felt more sad than ive ever felt when im sitting in a Majlis on the 10th of Ashura.
My approach to religion has really evolved during the years.
I guess the first phase was that of just following whatever people around you would do. There was a part of my family that was really religious. When i would stay with them during the holidays i had to watch ad's on mute, because the jingles were haram. They lived in London, but would not mix with any hindus or sikhs. They would only eat "halal" food, and would drive for one hour to aquire it. When we would to the supermarket i wore a hijab, not really understanding what that meant and what it signified. I wasn't allowed to buy Coke as it was owned by the jews, and everyone knew the jews were just plain evil. I had to eat fish burgers at McDonalds, and even cartoon network was off limits.Their kids had no life, And treated the decoration of Alams like a big joyous treat. (They would use toothbrushes dipped in food colouring and spray the alam cloth to represent blood. Creative? yes. Kind of odd? definately.) I repeat, i was on HOLIDAY, but the daily routine was that of going to atleast two majlises and then listening to one at night at home.

That year, when i got back home i went to my parents room and said, "I want to start wearing the hijab." And my parents werent too happy. My dads best friend is alcohol, and he's known to have parma ham from time to time. My mom, an Indian, has grown up surrounded by holi and diwali. This was not going to integrate too well with their way of living. So i was told just how hard this whole hijab thing was. I could "NEVER take it off" and trust me, it gets really hot under all that cloth. And i couldnt wear my neon floral skirts that my aunts would buy for me when they went on holiday either.

The hijab phase didnt last too long. The skirts were way too cute.

What followed were a couple of years of just "going with the flow" not really caring enough to bother questioning anything.

And then, came the agnostic years. Everything was carefully scrutinized before i went along with it. What was the whole point behind having a "kunda" in which already well fed aunites are fed even more? No one talks about religion, they just put on a pound or two and go home. And about 10,000 rupees are spent on average on each kunda. There has to be better ways of utilizing that money. And majlises, how easily they all start crying just as soon as karbala is mentioned. Its all so phoney and completely fabricated.

In my life, ive visited churches, synagogues, temples... you name it.
But nothing has ever convinced me, nothing ever seems real.

Oh and O level Islamiat doesnt help. When your teacher says matter of factly "yes well women are disadvantaged in Islam. But Islam is religion and is never wrong" you tend to think, well isnt that bloody convenient??
I didnt feel peace when i went for umrah, neither did i start crying when i saw the kaabah. I was too busy sweating under all the extra cover up and trying to run away from sleazy arabic men (especially the hairy ones.)

Karl Marx once said, "Religion is the opium of the masses."

Something to think about I guess.