Where's my Switzerland?

Ive realized what my problem is… or atleast I think I have..

I am, a human ping pong. Seriously. I am either incredibly happy, or incredibly paranoid. I just cant seem to find a common ground, a neutral territory. I have two extreme moods. Right now, I feel good. I feel happy. Ive been laughing for the past 20 minutes straight. And the two people who really really count have been by my side the entire day. But I know, as soon as I get up tomorrow, it will be the same old same old. Things will seem redundant and that familiar feeling of stagnation will return. And ill go back into that same feeling of insecurity, and self doubt. Always second guessing, always in the dark.

Why cant I just be ok? Not happy not sad, but just OK. Because it would be boring?

Am I scared by my own feeling of mediocrity? Of just being one of them? Of just being another scared and worried youth, who doesn’t know where shes going, or how she plans on becoming all that she aspires to?

I am so many different things, from one moment to a next.
I am undefined.